Spindrift

Random songs that I like

2012-02-12T22:45:00.001+08:00

Hello everyone, this is all. Also, things I miss: student fare. Its been around two weeks since you left me but you were such a money saver in this shit economy I love you and miss you xxx

How many special people change

2012-02-01T23:02:00.002+08:00

Just had one of those moments when you're suddenly crystal clear of your surroundings and everything rushes past you in an instant. I'm afraid of growing up. Its perhaps why I was so relunctant (as if I had a choice) to bid goodbye to 2011. It was a good year, it was figuratively in some senses (JULY FIFTEENTH, graduating from the second home of four years) bidding goodbye to childhood.. In three months, I'll be seventeen. SEVENTEEN for hell's sake. Did I ever imagine this, five years ago, a pathetic primary school kid ahaha. I can't even begin to imagine myself an adult, I can't imagine even being eighteen. Fret not though, as I wallow in nostalgia, drenched with the Peter Pan syndrome, I'm still as flighty and childish as ever- It's not that much of a bad thing, sometimes we're too much in a hurry to grow up. The fact is, however immature I may still be, situations have matured and will continue to do so. I guess sometimes I'm not just as keen to board the train.
You know I'm getting gushy when I start quoting Harry Potter. Magic never ends.
And hell hell hell how am I going to survive with this insecurity, this not-knowing until march oh hell oh hell oh hell oh hell. I hate waiting. HOW AM I GOING TO STAND THIS.

Food is good

2012-01-30T23:31:00.000+08:00

I had no choice about the bag, I think I had just come from an open house that day? Anyway things I'm doing now: Listening to Oasis's Champagne Supernova, eating a sandwich and wishing it was a McSpicy instead. Neigbours going a little insane with the fireworks, but they do make for a pretty show and celebrating is all about going insane, right? Suddenly in the mood for a midnight walk around but much too lazy, even for the cool night breeze. I sound like a suburban mother. I forsee a tiring day tomorrow.

Ennui

2012-01-26T22:35:00.001+08:00

So anyway in the two weeks or so that this space has been a blank, I've gotten my results (shit by the way, with some saving graces sprinkled in like chocolate chips amongst raisins, but still shit.) Therefore, I would like Not to dwell on that subject and say no more but this: everyone else will be getting posting results on monday, but I will be getting them later. I shall not say more lest I jinx something. Suddenly superstitious! Well, its not exactly being superstitious but whatever, no one cares.

Spent the day at Poon's, watching movies and I'd like to say that our culinary skills have improved. We only nearly burnt the soup this time! If you don't believe that's possible, remember: Adele set fire to the rain. Okay, that was bad. Since I'm telling everyone the boring details of my life, when I reached home today, suddenly irritated with the ends of my hair and eating in the kitchen, I grabbed a pair of kitchen scisscors and hacked the ends off. They are now sitting in the garbage. When I looked into the mirror, there seemed to be no difference.

This is all.

I am missing a waist thanks to the unfortunate positioning of the last two photos.

2012-01-08T23:32:00.003+08:00

So I know I said there would be pictures, but noodles, no. So tomorrow I'm getting back the results. I feel that this requires some musical backdrop but it would be probably be a song with doom. At the present, after days of feeling nothing regarding this- whenever something is to be dreaded I go on feeling like nothing is going to happen until the day itself when I start feeling the fear and it will probably be intense tomorrow at 2- I'm having a tiny flutter of anxiety. It would be probably be different if I were smarter, paid more attention in class, studied harder or was smarter, but no use crying over spilt potion eh? No use crying, anyway. Wish me luck because I'll probably fail everything, which is obviously the worst case scenario. Unless I'm tomorrow's top scorer, which is as likely as me ever passing the 2.4 running shit we have to do for NAFA, which is as likely as me every cooking a good meal which in the end, not very likely. Not at all likely. I'm one of the reasons that the asian stereotypes are never a hundred percent true. All asians are smart! lol hi there's me.

Fog in the house of lightbulbs

2011-12-28T00:13:00.000+08:00

So I've been listening to Radical Face quite a lot since I discovered Welcome Home through a Nikon commercial, and here are just three of their amazing songs. Personally I don't think I own anything by Nikon but I would like to send whoever decided to add that song into the commercial a bag of brownies that I did not bake myself because that would most likely kill them, for introducing a band so amazingly beautiful that words fail in any way to adequately describe it. Once in a blue moon, as frequently as I pass a math paper or perhaps more, I shan't exaggerate, commercialism can be a good thing. But I would like to send the store bought brownies most to Radical Face themselves for being so like walking on a lonely road after the rains. U DA BOZZ and also go listen to Angus and Julia Stone, particularly Bella and Devil's Tears. I do realise that I do sound as if I'm being paid to promote but my pocket remains empty and its just because I love them with all my nonsensical being even though I persist in being a little behind the times.

Radical Face

2011-12-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

Got back from the drama chalet today. Lots of playing bang and always being the first or second to get shot off because I'm stupid like that. If this is any tiny taste of life in the wild west, let me tell you I'll be as dead as a doorknob and that phrase doesn't even make sense because doorknobs aren't even alive in the first place. Been sneezing since I got home, probably because of the hours of slopping around in sopping wet clothes yesterday night but its worth it to be a water child. I can never understand how people can leave the water, I can stay in until I become a human prune. Watching asian youtubers and being amused and understanding in part amongst other things because I am crap at elaborating. Awkward music and amusing people! Well I guess even if our Lepak army had the misfortune to not be as successful as our extensive plans, we had something haha. See you and if I don't come on again this week, have an advanced merry Christmas!

ADADADADADADADADADAD

2011-12-20T00:48:00.001+08:00

Someone please buy me a plane ticket so I can take a trip to Holland. Or I could you know rake leaves into bundles and shit and manage to scrounge for one, but no. Asgopjzdotu2790vrt920vt-57-23957v2-9v75b209 stupid mindless random splashing of fingers across keys. You know what I want for Christmas? .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... A ticket to Holland. Ohmy did I really write all that drivel but since I did I might as well post it. I sound so stupid, finally the facade features the madness within. I sound high but I'm not. Going ape and shit argh I am so bored. And when I'm in Holland I can ask if you want to go dutch. Did I really say that that was the worst pun ever what the hell I'm an embarrassment.

ADADADADAD

2011-12-14T16:52:00.000+08:00

I have absolutely nothing to say. My brain has been eaten and that was not a very nice mental picture. Pictures from some time ago to now, with a random coat dug out of the folds of the closet of the ancients.

Where I throw random music at you

2011-12-13T22:48:00.002+08:00

2011-12-10T22:51:00.004+08:00

Hello again! Apart from the enthusiastic starting sentence, all words left my mind when I started typing so now I shall just put on my santa's hat (kidding suckers it's in a drawer somewhere) and just say that I love the Christmas season and everything about the Christmas season and sorry that this space is just overflowing with Yuletide love for everything from the decorations put up in the stores to the twinkling lights to the carols that even the lack of snow cannot dampen. Childhood flashback: When I was a wee, stupid toddler I believed it would snow on Christmas day, I woke up and ran out and everything was dry. Insert a sarcastic taped chorus of "awwwwws" here. Okay that's all.

Five years time

2011-12-04T23:53:00.002+08:00

Spent the week not doing anything much productive. Went for some movies, always loving the cinema, even though one of the movies was quite bad. Contemplating the intricacies of dyed denim, out with the girls, lazing around. The Christmas spirit kicks in, I expect we can put the tree up soon. It may look odd with the bottom rings undecorated though, thanks to Dave the dog, who chewed the eyes off the stuffed penguin I got this week (the penguin looks pathetic and I felt sad for it. But then again, dogs do a pretty good job of looking pathetic too so oh well. Animals are born to be cute, I suppose.) I just want a job. Scratch that, I just want money. Doesn't make the world go around, but it pays for shit.

2011-11-27T23:27:00.006+08:00

Somewhat overdue? A few of the many taken, because I'm too lazy to upload the whole lot. I'm mostly a very lazy person so don't expect much from me. So just random shots pulled out and shit. Have a nice day, bake some cookies and stock up on sheer shawls to wrap around your neck a la cape.

2011-11-27T23:10:00.003+08:00

I have returned. I haven't been having the greatest experiences with shoes, my feet have been aching and my toes are cramped which begs another reason for me never to wear heels if I'm too hopeless to deal with regular kicks. In addition to the fact that I am already unstable even barefoot, add in those sticks that others have skills in tottering on and I am dead. It was cold, almost unbearably so, and without snow (Which felt a little bit of a copout, but what are you gonna do? Despite the bitter cold, it was a somewhat, SOMEWHAT, nice change) I took it as practice for when I hit London town. Not in the near future, but someday soon. In spite of reservations initially it was a good trip, and the ride back from KL airport was something. Even though I was riding through the countryside on the way back home, the little kid in me was excited to see cows just standing there, probably chewing cud, which is what cows do, as if I've never seen the creatures in my life, and I was probably the only one awake and the "Wilderness" which reminded me of Congo, which is crap, because I've never been to Congo and I have not much of an idea what it looks like, and why Congo I have no idea but I have returned and for once in this tropical land on which I exist, the heat is somewhat welcome. Christmas beckons.

2011-11-22T10:12:00.003+08:00

So I just got home. Yeah, well, prom. It started out kind of awkward and slightly boring, well it got really awkward at one point but oh well ahahaha. Anyway the later part was of fun even though my feet were aching at the end of the whole thing (and I wasn't even wearing heels, how pathetic) and my throat is sore now. I enjoyed it, even though I'm rubbish at elaborating so I'll just wait for the pictures to come out. In hindsight, the lipstick was perhaps too red, but as the entertainer man would have said, that was how people did it when things were "retrospective", he rather enjoyed using that word. So anyway I'm going off now overseas, which is not really saying much since I have to do it almost everyday, but really overseas, be back on sunday so yeah. That's about it, hobos in your rags, tags and velvet gowns!

My boy builds coffins

2011-11-17T20:05:00.004+08:00

So I guess by now the time is ripe to get a job. I was actually planning to loaf of this year and start working next, but oh well, minds change. I don't know what I'll do, right now I just want those evil green notes. Well, not really green very much, here. Anyway whatever it may be I hope it doesn't end up in disaster as things so often do around me. Other things to do on the cliche list may be a hair dye job. Not full on ginger, but reddish streak. No, a gradient? I don't know, the time isn't ripe (I just realised how stupid that phrase sounds. "The time is ripe". It sounds stupid). But soon. Nothing much else, really. Prom's next week. I wear heels as well as I do math (I promised never to bring this up again, but I couldn't find another apt comparison) so will I be wearing heels? I don't know. Probably not.

2011-11-13T22:19:00.003+08:00

Always amazed when people dance well because if I did I'd end up breaking bones/things/other people.

2011-11-04T21:08:00.002+08:00

So I'm left with two more papers actually left to do actual work for. That much closer to leaving science behind 4eVeRzzx too. Ah, I've already left it behind. Just art and history left and then I will declare myself free. Studied Iraq and Venice only for SEQ and guess what didn't come out? Its a pretty good thing I sped read a random essay for Sri Lanka last night and my latent brain actually vomitted out somewhat useful knowledge so here's crossed fingers and shall not bore you with more lame academic related news (tuesday come quick I will bake you pies and you will ignore the fact that I can't bake and accept them gleefully) and I will not bore you anymore k.

Rags, tags and velvet dresses

2011-10-28T22:06:00.002+08:00

I don't often look at music videos when I listen to new songs, but then I heard Rupert Grint was on this. This makes this doubly awesome whichever way you want to look at it: Ed Sheeran's song, with Rupert Grint in the music video or Rupert Grint in a music video of Ed Sheeran's song. Separately, these two are some of my favourite gingers (list the rest of the Weasleys here). Anyway, today is good because it is the last time I ever am in need of math. For years this is a subject that I have whined about constantly, but it ends today. Never again will I have to buy yet a another math textbook or stare at a constantly spinning page of numbers in a math assesment book or a test paper and wonder if I am stupid. THERE IS NO MORE NEED FOR MATH IN MY LIFE AND THIS IS GOOD. This is brilliant. My brain space can now be freed for things of greater importance. For those who you who will say that years of mathematical education has been wasted on me, I'm not jumping on the knowledge train behind you, because this is something I've known from the start. In other news, there is apparently an official Hobo convention that takes place every year in Brit, Iowa. I need to attend this convention. It sounds too amazing to miss.

2011-10-24T21:53:00.002+08:00

One down and six more to go, that's the mindset that seems just about right, especially with math in two days. Three scenarios: I get the paper not knowing how to do a shit and just die right there, I do as I've been doing my whole life or actually manage to surpass, my albeit low, expectations. I hope I pass. But no matter how I do, the fact remains that I'll be able to bid goodbye to this rubbish by friday. Sweet friday. Let's all take our imaginary cups and look at them half full and if they're totally empty, fill them up yourselves.

2011-10-15T22:21:00.002+08:00

So I've graduated and it's quite strange. I can still remember sec one when I kept promising that I was going to transfer because for some reason I was really a wet blanket about everything. I'm glad I didn't. I'm not going to go on a long spin sitting back reminiscing, but I had an awesome time at Mayflower, despite possibly bagging the most consistent latecomer award, among other things. I met some amazing people and had some great times. I guess that could sum it up, I suppose. I'm not very good at this. There's many more descriptions I could give, many more events to describe, but you get the picture. I'm going to miss it. And you could also say that after four years of having to wear a tie one day a week, I still haven't learnt how to tie one on my own. Life experience.

2011-10-08T23:22:00.003+08:00

I feel very amazed by what people prioritise sometimes, or to be more specific, the extent to which they prioritise that priority. If that makes sense, which it probably does. I feel in the mood to lie on the couch and think about everything while thinking about nothing but I will not do that because my dog thinks its super fun to shed and I will force my brother into breaking out the vacuum cleaner because its his dog, as he reminds me all the time I want to play with the dog but never when its time for clean up. Dave is my dog too and I find him very amusing. I find many things amusing. Easily amused by nothing. A week of trips, and a picnic of raisin bread (I love it the most I can eat it forever) and childhood jellies. Good for the soul. See you, chickenfeed cupcake sauce 8390583459s. I graduate next week.

2011-10-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

Eli the barrow boy

2011-10-02T20:18:00.001+08:00

The routine goes on. Soon enough I'll be burning papers and whoever wants to can chew on expired cheese sticks in their ray bans. It's an upward slope from here in every aspect. Rubbish update plucked out from a barrel of nothing.

2011-09-25T19:19:00.004+08:00

Seems to be all that's ever done these days. In any case it amuses me how people are so often hypocritical. Befuddles, bamboozles, bewilders, whatever. Are you confused by your array of masks or simply used to the constant switching? The track is yours, have fun taking part in the rat race. When you're tired, you'll still be running. On that joyous note, covered to more chapters of bio today- that much closer to passing. Joy, love, stardust, unicorns and pixies.

2011-09-23T19:46:00.004+08:00

It's been about two months and I have no idea what I have been doing then. Basically, the Os are in 30 days and my math marks are crap. Perhaps it's time to give up on math before it suctions me down into a whirpool of failure and just try to do okay for science. By which I mean, transfer the studying and effort and priority from math to science. I dunno. I'll just try my best and get enough to get me into the course I want, where I want. I'd like to think I did okay for everything else. Maybe I'm not so academically inclined, whatever. I sound hopeless now but I'm actually pretty hopeful. Maybe I constantly sound sarcastic and cold I don't know. And I also feel I'm putting too much ceremony on this but I've been absent for so long and have nothing to say because I'm a pathetic loser who looks at books and can't retain a shit but can remember random facts that society deems useless but I think are stardust for the brain anyway. I like rain.

2011-08-10T18:00:00.003+08:00

So in my abscense from here of two weeks of so, I have accomplished the following: watched Harry Potter a few more times. The same feelings of PPD and more than a little bereavement. Watched Grease too with two very insane people and the little noisy kid boy. Marvelling at the tremendously long hemlines of the 50s, amongst other odd fashion statements of the time which provided much entertainment. Those two amongst various other things that were either irksome, unbelievable, entertaining, delightful the usual- life goes on, I suppose. I believe that children under the age of 6 should not be in cinemas: they don't understand anything anyway and then start making NOISES. I do not hate little children but their noise oh no. 6 and above is fine because I remember watching my first movie at 6. It was Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone. Alright, before I go all nostalgic again- hardcore mugging by Sharmini premieres next monday because I have a strong feeling that I will not be able to achieve much at all this week and let's face the hard truth, if I don't start my studying I might as well tie a noose around the figurative necks of my math and science results and pull it myself. Loathsome but neccessary if I can even attempt to hope to dream of a pass at the very least. Seems like a recurring theme in this space but that's the state of affairs now. Already thinking wistfully of life after November 14th, of all the events and freedom to come. Bye now.

2011-07-24T19:34:00.002+08:00

Just logged on, off in a few. Tumblr's not working, I have so little to do online without it, I am so dependent hahaha tomorrow is monday, mondays suck. Did some ten year series today, math, feeling productive. Just refreshed the page, tumblr's still sorry. So am I.

2011-07-20T17:33:00.002+08:00

At the Poons, now, about to head out for night class. Our usual disastarous cooking sessions with Cleo. We must never cook again. Watched Harry Potter last friday, and will be watching it more times. At the end of the first time I felt completely lost and my eyes were shrivelled and puffy. Does that make sense? Once again off to slog till 8pm. Wish me LUCK.

Lots and lots of pun

2011-07-09T22:27:00.005+08:00

This week equaled chinese oral, totally screwed up, but I guess they'll remember me in any case, I guess that it was too horrible to be easily forgettable but they were smiling at my lack of coherence or in response to my awkward shit-do-i-fill-this-awkward-moment-when-i-should-speak-but-cant-translate-for-hell or a combination of both factors. Perhaps I'm over reacting, perhaps I didn't do as badly as I thought, I hope so anyway. Filled my week up with puns, glorious, horrendous puns that made you want to laugh like crazy or shoot yourself in the foot, and often at the same time. It was also my last time at drama, the real last time. It was singing and making up lyrics to the improvised version of Be a Man at the backseat, exploring the campus which was a winding labyrinth full of staircases and doors that led to hidden places, watching a play on a grainy screen that made no sense, fun trivia that was all wrong... I'm going to miss those guys. And if anyone is in need of an ark, feel free to tell me, I noah a guy.

2011-07-03T22:16:00.003+08:00

Spent my days being a pathetic soul stuck at home, cramming in all the hours into a session that caused me to reach my highest level of hardworking-ness in years. While I applaud myself, if my fingers had a life, they would kill me if they weren't feeling so chafed, and I now have an intense hatred for coloured paper and intricate patterns. Will finish the workload tomorrow afternoon and celebrate after that by being a reckless party animal and sleeping.

Catching fish in the air

2011-07-01T22:21:00.002+08:00

Scurrying started this week. Going to be stuck at home desperately trying to beat the clock the next three days, as usual. The back to school week included various things, like the ambush of Poon in which everyone involved was physically injured in some extent, except me, because I am brilliant, bands with ridiculous names, three different accents and bets with forfeits that we somehow never ended up doing. I have food in the fridge. Life is good.

2011-06-26T18:49:00.003+08:00

Going back to school tomorrow. Not pumped. Not only will the end of today herald in the usual drone of waking up early, but the need to mug like mad cat, harder than I have ever done in my life. Only four plus months till the Os? Time's been playing tricks on me again. In addition, the next two weeks will be a crazy blur of me attempting to finish all coursework before lock up. The result? Hours to be spent everyday, the next less-than-fourteen days. These four months will be used to desperately cram and understand everything that in the past four years, I have somehow managed to neglect.
Wish me luck.

2011-06-24T22:19:00.003+08:00

One of many sequences of the failed jumpshots by him that started all badass and ambitious and ended up... not really so much. I couldn't resist it, though it was infinitely funnier in real life, or if you have a brilliant imagination that I would pay galleons for, just use the images above to well... imagine it.

2011-06-21T22:09:00.003+08:00

Drama today, involving our own rendition of truth and dare which had infinitely more options, like the double dare, the triple dare and the daredevil. Oddly enough, everyone seemed content to do the basic dare. Ah well, when people don't appreciate the beauty of choice making, including me. To Sentosa after that, with a few of them zookeepers. Went around catching fish in plastic bags- "Perhaps if we fill them with sand first, the fish will get confused- I did not say that, to be clear, investigating a mysterious object that turned out to be coconut husk, broken coconut husk at that, and basically just doing what people usually do at a beach, and answering questions like "dude, I need sand- where"/"Does anyone have water?", which of course, are very apt questions when one is at the beach.

2011-06-19T22:36:00.002+08:00

When people comment about wanting purebred dogs and my brother goes all, "Yes, they're good, aren't they?" and in my mind I'm thinking Well too bad, boy, you and me, we're not exactly purebred. We are racial hybrids so you should appreciate those mongrels as much as you appreciate purebreds. In any case, I told him that today. He responded by telling me I made no sense and that I should just shut up. My intellect is obviously not respected.

YOUR VOOOOOOOOICE was the soundtrack of my summer

2011-06-18T01:04:00.003+08:00

Hello, planned on doing some studying today, hardcore like. Which is basically planning to mug like a badass but apparently life had different plans for me, so I did not. Who am I to disagree with the fickle mind of life? Never fear, tuition tomorrow to boost my mathematical intellect. While I think the human race should not force more than basic math on young minds, the powers that be disagree, so I shall conform until the O's are over after which I plan on never doing algebra ever again and counting with my fingers to annoy people, which I already do sometimes, and not always to annoy people.

2011-06-10T21:43:00.003+08:00

Good morning world! Official end of camp suckass but never fret, there's still lots more to do, even out of school.
On a happier note, went to this little shop today that really lived up to its name, which was Rastafari, so you can probably imagine- it looks exactly what it sounds like: lots of tie dye, bright colours, reggae music blasting from the speakers. I was glad that Huili and Atiqa managed to contain their dancing urges despite the beat not like the time in the art room the turpentine got knocked over.
Right, I was going to eat but a long, romantic walk to my fridge shows no food so I'm just going to drink water. Water is good for your soul.

2011-06-06T19:18:00.003+08:00

This makes me want to get a tent that will shine jewel-like from the outside and go camping somewhere by a loch in Scotland, under the stars, of course. Not to mention that I love Scottish/Irish/English accents more than Roth loves college (I think I've already thrown out a Roth-College reference somewhere here, though.) I could just hear people speak in those accents all day. Right, I sound a tad pathetic. Noted. Can't help it though, those accents are like butter that melts just right on toast. Satisfying. Also, I actually like this song.

2011-06-05T19:16:00.003+08:00

So recently I discovered, thanks to a friend, that due to some cosmic wonders beyond my primitive understanding that our whole horoscopes are screwed. Apparently the rest of the world discovered this fact years ago but I had to have a moment so un-hipsteresque. Either way, while my belief in horoscopes is extremely limitied, it's kind of weird that my whole life I've been under the impression that I am-was- a Taurus when in reality I am an Aries. Matters of the planet aside, I have been increasingly frustrated in my recent lack of skill at paper cutting. While attempting it today, the paper mocked me, the penknife mocked me and I ended up with crap, basically. I suppose I could blame it on the lack of paper cutting atmosphere in my house but I decided to just go do something else, for the moment anyway. I just had some toast and I am blown away by my toast making skills. I make pretty damn good toast for a sixteen year old, I make magic happen with the toaster if there wasn't already a spell in the wizarding world for creating perfect toast, they'd make one where you'd shout "Sharmini!" and poof- amazing. Another thing I am good for, as it so happens, is coming up with the most nonsensical crap ever for no reason its like I can't stop. Trippy. Anyway afjaopfjsopfjsofjs kbai.

2011-05-30T21:38:00.003+08:00

O's: more or less what I expected of the paper, of myself. Does that sound depressing to you? It's better than building my hopes up into a pretty little castle before brutally smashing it into glittery pieces with a sledgehammer, isn't it? Basic here I come. Visited the Chay after the whole affair. Take it from me, if you're on your way to KK and decide to get a bite to eat on the way, toss your plans out the window and just eat there instead of mindlessly roaming. We didn't know that it had food like apart from the standard issue hospital canteen. I don't even think I've been there in my life but I'm much better schooled now. Either way it was a weird trip there, with a very strange trip back involving something orange. Oh on another note for another life lesson learnt today, Sheng Shiong sells pens! Who knew? We didn't, apparently, which is why one shouldn't place all their hopes on the school bookstore, but when the time comes, wander off to greener pastures. I'm so full of crap but at least I got a cool pen. I can get high on oxygen so I can't help it, its the little things in life that makes you happy. Nuggets of wisdom to get you through life. Realised that this post is so messy and makes as much sense as nonsense.

2011-05-29T19:28:00.002+08:00

This must be the 94829482394823492482904th time I've touched on this, but time is really taking a ride on a spaceship or whatever my science is screwed so don't expect me to know speeds. Kinda sucks, cause I really have the feeling that for these past few years of my life I've been taking time for granted so now it's speeding up on purpose to spite me (and no I am not talking about the O's though heaven knows I kinda need more time to prepare than granted at the moment) yeah that's just bull but really I feel like I'm not ready for everything but guess what life's like an alpaca it spits when abused so that makes no sense I'm gonna grab food now because my love for food is to Roth's love for college. kbai.

not ready at 48

2011-05-27T22:18:00.004+08:00

Been listening to Adele's hometown glory on repeat for the past half hour. For the past two weeks, its been mother tongue intensive, which wasn't the time of killer boredom I expected. Then there's mother tongue on monday, everyone's wanting a1 a2 b3 b4 I count myself lucky if I was to nearly-but-not pass ahah. Anyway looking forward to the four weeks holiday that's actually two weeks thanks to camp suckass (hats off to you my dear). Then again, never fear, because holidays are holidays and holidays are brilliant pureed rainbows in day form.

word vomit in a state of mind that's not quite right

2011-05-15T21:54:00.004+08:00

It's funny, how the smallest of things can pitch you headfirst into the past. Relieving it is not a problem, like they say (whether they say it or not, who cares) , it's the nostalgia that hurts, how in the bittersweet, it's just that- bittersweet. In that tapestry of memories, you can only see but not touch. But I guess I'm just being stupid, after all I'm only 16 and I'm talking like I'm 77 so all is not lost I've got more years to remember and forget, hopefully. Though with my memory, forgetting is more likely is all. Alright there's nothing up with this post just the sudden onslaught of nostalgia coupled with a healthy dose of "insane and suddenly thinks she's a philosopher who lives in a cave lighting candles in a robe" juice . Ah well, everything in moderation.

2011-05-09T14:41:00.005+08:00

This weather is killing me, the heat is clinging to everything and its even permeating the what is supposed to be a cool night breeze. All this while there's a million other things that I should be doing. Wish me luck in my killer papers that I'll be doing battle with these week. Crap, this heat is killing me.

2011-05-08T20:07:00.004+08:00

Before This, the hours stretched by endlessly, and you could relax in the knowledge that time would go on forever and you could do just that- take your time. Tomorrow's another day, another chance. Then when you face the finish line, you know that all those hours that seemed to stretch into eternity were an illusion and that time has been flying when you took that luxury too much for granted to notice. Before you know it, you're facing the end, and there is so much that you left undone.

P.S Just so you know, this isn't another self-lamenting o level/exam stress post. It seriously isn't. There's so much more in life than just the endless drone of studying for things.

2011-05-05T15:36:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was international star ways day. May the fourth be with you. Geddit, geddit, geddit? Sorry.
Looking forward to more hand cramps tomorrow as I take the history paper, but on one hand hand crapms are good because they mean that you write a lot of things, things that are actually right and that make sense hopefully. I'm honestly wishing to pass this because humanities are one of my only hopes. It's a given that I screwed mother tongue, spent a whole lot of the allotted time dozing or doodling and letting my mind wander outside the confines of the classroom and you know the standard of my mother tongue (kinda no standard, to be honest) and there's math and science and next week.
Bloody math and science bloody next week. Papers that require logic, patience and rational understanding. Not to mention numbers scare me, letters with numbers just confuse me and science makes too much sense to make sense. And I can never remember the rules.
Now back to reading up on Germany, let's hope I do well for history tomorrow.
Math and science next week and let's hope I'm lucky enough to do not that badly for the subjects where I can dare to hope. I feel so studious.

2011-05-02T16:59:00.005+08:00

My urgency level, as you can see, is always floating between non-existent or existing but eclipsed by laziness or some other sort of procrastination. Either way, its been such beautiful rainy weather that I don't feel like doing much except slugging somewhere listening to one republic's good life on repeat feeling happpy. I don't know why I love the rain so much, it dosen't bring me down or anything, unless outdoor activities are planned for the day obviously, it actually makes everything feel better. Anyway, having the urge to go catch Water for Elephants. From that alone, you must know that it sounds like a good movie since it stars Robert Pattinson, famous for playing a certain sparkly faux vampire in a certain movie about shiny ornaments and puppies- which means that the storyline must sound great to entice me to watch the movie if Robpat's playing the lead. Then again, I don't suppose he's such a bad actor, just that Twilight kinda taints his resume. A plus point is that the movie sorta revolves around a circus, which, is a pretty cool place. It makes me want to quit school to find a travelling circus, take up the career of a trapeze artist and travel around in a caravan with bonfires and my best friend Maverick the lion tamer. I'll stop here because that was an utterly ridiculous idea more suited to last century anyway. Don't get me wrong though, Mavericks, lion tamers, circuses, trapeze artists and bonfires are still pretty cool.

You won't find faith or hope down the telescope

2011-05-01T19:24:00.002+08:00

This week: Turning sweet sixteen yet not turning sweet. An added year with added expectations to be more mature. Will it happen? Mother tongue oral in which I threw in english words and a lot of nodding along with the teacher, totally not knowing what the hell was going on, hand gestures with a good measure of "um... and then, like"'s and "ying wei because" (the significance of this is that ying wei already means because). The usual tomfoolery that we get up to, studying. Oh hell, I hate studying but oh well- no choice right?

Life after Life

2011-04-21T23:29:00.003+08:00

I was an idiot last night. So I went to bed at like ten-nish, completely knackered and just wanting to retire from the world. For some weird reason, I woke up a little while later with the thought going on in my groggy head that it was wake up time, but taking a look at the time showed me the digits 11:(something or other). And then for another weird reason that until this moment I cannot fathom, I thought there was something wrong with the clock and then I should be awake by this time. So I got up from bed and in a drowsy, stupid state of mind went to get my uniform when I came face to face with my mother, the uniform in my hand. She then said, "You're up early, aren't you?". I probably muttered something smart like, "heh?". I then realised that it was indeed only 11 something and feeling thoroughly pissed at myself for being such a genius and yet extremely happy that I could go back to sleep, I rushed back into bed.
Spent today with deep topics interrupted by in their own unique brand, amusing words. Thoughts of a philosopher to be, and I finally found my momentum to draw after quite a long time, today. Which is very, very good considering my lackluster approach to it during the past few weeks.

2011-04-18T18:45:00.002+08:00

Luckily, it's going to be a short week and it'll definitely be good knowing I can expire on thursday night. Not that it was a bad monday, it was fine as far as mondays go, apart from the rain in the morning which just made me want to get on a bus, a train, a bus and go all the way back home and go back to sleep because rainy days are the best. But I awoke fully, eventually.
I don't even know what I'm doing on this space, getting off in a bit because I am by no means free. I have studying to do (hold your laughter, yes it is Sharmini. Studying. Hoping to pass. Finally. Well I always hope to pass, passing is the actual problem.) I also have drawing to do, and it turns out my dog chewed my pencils. He also chewed my earpiece. He chewed my damn earpiece, argh, but I don't have the heart to scold him. Really, how can I scold a puppy? Realised too, today, that I am not growing. My height has remained stagnant, and I will never be taller than 161cm. This is life, but I guess it dosen't really matter- scratch that it dosen't matter at all because I'm awesome.
Alright then, enough procrastinating and time to get down to some real work. I'm going to start with the good and find some replacement pencils because did I mention? My dog chews everything.

214

2011-04-15T22:20:00.003+08:00

How was my week? It was getting drenched in the rain- a five minute run in pouring sheets of water to be precise. Eating Farley's epic Rusks with vitasoy, the coincidental amazing-ness of sevens, getting a surprise trip to Hougang for no good reason, ending in a bus ride from there to Woodlands. Turns out mid years are coming soon, and I hate studying, but I suppose I've got no choice, really- can't keep up with the current state of my results, can I. Vectors suck anyway, can't help but try to pay attention in math, but sometimes end up looking blankly at the whiteboard through glazed eyes. I feel tired.

Truth is now acceptable

2011-04-10T19:27:00.003+08:00

Suddenly tired of my so called name on facebook, I went to change it to my real name but I was faced with the same situation as I was the last time I attempted to use my real name, which was like, what a year or more ago? It was rejected. This, I find, is extremely ironic seeing as they asked for my real name and Ownscelion is defintely not my real name. If last names like "Isfeelingsad" or "Peekaboonomnom" (No idea, just came up with that randomly) can be accepted, why not mine? Ah well.
Anyway, I've had this niggling feeling the whole day of a vague recollection about waking up from my sleep in the wee hours of the morning and hearing strains of the country version of Born This Way, for some reason, its twang appealed to me. Also, I think I may be suffering from a mild version of alexithymia. Look it up.

2011-04-08T20:05:00.003+08:00

The chaotic surprise for these two earlier in the week, the Poon and Sister Li. May they be wiser, sweeter since they are sixteen, and less violent. You guys quite cool, for once I admit, not bad upgrade!
Night study yesterday, sucked the life out of me, especially with my attitude towards chinese characters, words of which I never know the meaning, leading to glazed eyes when I stare at a passage. And to think I didn't do that badly for the subject in primary school. When did my downward spiral start, leading me to have think hard on how to write the simplest words sometimes, words that escape my memory and are the very basic? Sorry, don't even know what I am saying anymore.

2011-04-01T20:42:00.002+08:00

SYF yesterday: singing songs on the way back at the top of voices (we were chillin in the backseat or kickin in the back seat ah damn, the lyrics of that meaningful song escape me, but I don't really care) , the performance, the kickass makeup Joey and I did haha pretty boy, the lunch at Seoul garden after, with much standing up and thumbs up to our maid of the hour. It was not me, hint hint. Choking on a nut, the epic toy store with epic cool puppets and... well, I adored the damn puppets. I love my awethum drama people, no matter what we are the epic cool humanoids, even if they did make a Taller than Sharmini club.

wanderlust

2011-03-27T19:17:00.003+08:00

I just want to fly to the ends of the earth and see everything there is to see.

"Where does imagination begin and end? What are its boundaries? One person is deemed creative, another is mad. Perfectly sane, perfectly healthy people see and hear things that can't always be explained. Truth is, we've barely begun to understand the brain. It's still mostly, a guessing game."
-Suzanne Selfors, Mad Love.

2011-03-26T23:13:00.001+08:00

fistbumps and hipsters

2011-03-25T22:23:00.003+08:00

So anyway, camp suckass is over. Felt envious on wednesday when I dragged myself to school facing the promise of extra studying while everyone else was dragging along their bulky bagpacks and sleeping bags. I have absolutely nothing to say apart from the fact that I was just missing the world cup period last year since Denice and I were talking about it many hours ago. Post lacks quality, my apologies. (like there's even quality in the first place, never mind.)

2011-03-17T19:41:00.002+08:00

Been at drama these past few days. In addition to other weird things happening, or should I say, weird things I've been doing with semi-weird people: the reverse treadmill exercise (I made this name up on the spot because the operation itself is a not-really secret, what am I even saying) and the general weirdly cool coolishly weird vibe that is drama. I realise now,this post is basically me, displaying my brilliant grasp of the english language and my huge arsenal of adjectives.

Mermaid for you

2011-03-11T20:50:00.003+08:00

I hate filing so much, my already messy table will be strewn with random papers from a whole different range of subjects, forms from who knows how early in the year and the inevitable foolscap paper with nothing on it but unfathomable doodling. And always, always, my file pops up thinner than anyone else. But this time was not too bad, got quite a bit of things as I stashed everything in my main file so it was just a matter of spring cleaning underneath my table and sorting, took me a good one period.
Anyway, this term is officially the first time since my entry into Mayflower that my late coming track is officially zero. Applause or no applause, the ultimate improvement. Accomplishments, a miracle for the generation.
Holidays next week, time flies and I'll be at school nearly every weekday, but waking up later than usual, been waking up to sunrise only on saturdays in the whole week lately, I hate waking up to darkness because I'm always just wanting to go back to sleep.

2011-03-06T18:38:00.002+08:00

Sudden urge to decorate those plain walls, all mirrors and fresh mundane-ness; splash some paint, graffiti, shots of colour. Anything to liven up those drab surfaces.

2011-03-04T20:17:00.002+08:00

So I failed english, seems depressing but I think something is wrong with my brain wires because I don't feel depressed even though I failed a whole bunch of subjects this time around, which I think is pretty scary that I don't feel... sad. Once again I fail to adequately pen down my thoughts in a way that can be found understandable. Or does it? Anyway, I had my highest math score in two years, not a pass, but I was so close. I'll give myself a bit of praise for that. (argh praising myself for nearly passing maths, how pathetic is this? Extremely, on a scale of 1-10, 10.) The day I pass maths is the day I can fly myself to the moon so I will begin preparing a spacesuit now, because the day is fast approaching where I can play amongst the stars. I sense a tad overconfidence in my words because I've yet to actually pass, though. But we. Shall. See.

2011-02-28T18:20:00.003+08:00

Caught a ride to Woodlands today with Huili and her dad on a lorry. I did that before, way back in sec one with Kaiyun during the Just Stupid period. Anyway, me and Huili were walking around the carpark wondering which of the many lorries it was, when I saw a big blue one full of mattresses and asked Huili if that was it, it was not.
Anyway we found the lorry and the conversation went from a very normal to a weird place as the Li tried valiantly to translate the chinese conversation for my sake (and trust me, the conversation was at a very weird place itself, with the odd awkward silence) or as she so eloquently put it, "He's always random like this. Shhhh..." It was definitely an experience.
Anyway as I was buying things later from this guy he saw a drawing on my wrist (Mundzirah kindly said it looked like an artery) and he was like:
"How did you get that on your hand?"
" Oh... um, my friend drew it."
" Did you get it for free?"
" My friend drew it."
I am such a gifted conversationalist, am I not, though it was an odd-ish question.

2011-02-26T20:47:00.002+08:00

"I bid farewell to my empty packet drink into the dustbin and my ez link card decided to tag along . I looked into the bin and saw my face there :s . Thanks to Denice Xin Yi for kicking the bin open, Celia Ownsaphrodite for picking my card out, Sharmini Ownscelion for trying hard to fix the bin and Daisy Xue for watching and laughing at us. It was fun ."
Yes, a basic summary by the Li of what happened on the dark, dark, Friday evening. And for anyone who cares, I did manage to fix the bin in the end. It was a big bin, and I have small hands.
Anyway, had a week of common tests from hell, honestly, the worst round of tests in my fifteen years of being. Saw an inventor in action during history, of which the Poon and I have a video of, but strangely enough, I can't seem to find my cable so, whatever, maybe another day. Anyway, random, but its awesome to walk home at night really, especially when there are no cars and crap and no one to disturb you but just the road and the cool night air. Very much random, but its the truth.

Circus

2011-02-19T21:09:00.001+08:00

Everywhere I go there are insane people doing insane things I am slowly being engulfed by insanity day by day, too late I was insane in the first place, I am one of insanity's pioneers (wow strong words Saloma, crap random line that flew into memory) so sucks to you or whatever. Nonsense, indeed.
Studying, trying to absorb information with the same voice in the back of my mind, saying "you try, you fail, you try, you fail." It's always the same, not studying equals a sure path to failure and yet: study, forget everything, fail. Nevermind, its okay. I shall persevere and then the studying shall be put to good use. Oh standardized examinations, thou doth sucketh.

Clapclapclap

2011-02-19T20:08:00.004+08:00

2011-02-02T23:55:00.002+08:00

So the lights from the fireworks some neighbour's been setting off have been lighting up the walls outside, flashing green and yellow. I am kinda pathetic because I only really celebrate Christmas. Pathetic, no? But its okay, because in any case, no matter how little money or food I get, I have a four day holiday and holidays are always good. Anyway, its february already, time is flying past as fast as an eagle on steroids. I think I kinda miss camp now and I'm getting bitten by mosquitoes for no reason there are suddenly so many of them, they are coming in swarms, okay I'm exaggerating but all mosquitoes should just die but then it would probably unbalance the ecosystem or whatever scientific nonsense I just hate mosquitoes end of story with their stupid bites and even worse, their annoying buzzing sounds. Ah, the neighbours have started blasting fireworks again, its really pretty and close up, so if I wanted to, I could actually see them start off and burst into little shards of light. When I get less lazy later, I might actually go up and see unless when I decide its time to get up, they decide to stop. Ah well.

2011-01-31T19:54:00.002+08:00

Just back from IFC, not really sure how to sum up my experiences in words but I was in group seven (brilliant number), the Tomatens! So I was split up from anyone else, we all were, and I made a couple of new friends. Plus I had fun even though Labrador was freezing at night, I woke up in the middle of each night, shivering. You know what? I shall just post up some pictures since a picture is a thousand words kay anyway returning to Mayflower was damn weird and I felt as if I had been gone for a month as opposed to four days! Pictures soonish.

2011-01-23T18:47:00.003+08:00

I will freaking pass my mathematics you wait and see, and all these tuitions (yes twice a week, though my teacher is okay though he loves driving analogies for some reason) and all my studying a subject I wish I could just turn into a piece of paper and draw on it and burn it and do a damn war dance around the fire- though I must convince myself to love it and unceremoniously dump it only when the O's are over- they will be worth it. And I will be able to go to London and I'll achieve my ambition (oh yeah, I got one now) and I will be awesome because my motto is be more awesome tomorrow than you are today- okay whatever I made that up on the spur of the moment but its not bad, isn't it, even if its not my motto, it isn't so bad as a secondary bumper sticker. Ah, screw it.
Haha I sound so inspirational but this year I will conquer algebra and I will own its face and leave it crying in the dust. Oh and science too, even though I don't hate it that much. Its okay, I know what I mean.

2011-01-21T22:40:00.004+08:00

This week I heard the worst jokes in my whole life, from the much repeated hurdle joke, peanuts, learnt how they "really" make black pepper chicken, all about fake fish and many other horrendous lame jokes, which I really hate yet unwillingly love. Anyway, I haven't been late for a full three weeks now. I have upgraded myself.

2011-01-16T18:32:00.001+08:00

This is a space print appreciation post because I love the above so much and because space prints are awesome, its like flying into the cosmos, cutting up the sky and sewing it up into something that's well, wearable. Stupid thing to say, but yeah.

2011-01-15T21:21:00.006+08:00

So I haven't posted in what like, two weeks? Anyway its been the first two weeks of school and everything's nearly the same as last year, climbing an extra flight of stairs being one of the differences, damn. Also, one thing that is not the same is that I actually pay attention in lessons- except chemistry, I just can't it makes as much sense to me as llamas doing ballet in spacesuits, and I DID MY MATH HOMEWORK. ALL of it, three pieces so far, which is quite awesome since through the duration of last year, I only did what, six pieces? Something like that. So yes, I haven't got to the point where I'm studying everyday, but oh well, I'll get there eventually.
Went to the NAFA open house thing with Huili today, initially went because it seemed awesome and as an accompaniment, seeing as I didn't really plan to go to NAFA, but after walking around with aching legs (we almost got lost, though it was not as bad as the time we got lost last year) and reading the brochure thing twice, it seems like not a bad place, if I know what I mean, which I do and I've actually got my eye on one of the courses but I'll have to see how it goes. Plenty of time to worry about that later.
On a totally unrelated topic but because I have nothing else to say, I missed the auditions last year so we shall see how everything goes so yes and another unrelated topic is that seven is the best number in the history of numbers and whenever I come across an accidental seven I feel happy even though it is illogical, but screw logic, it should just get sick so it will become ill logic. If you get it, I'm sorry that because that sucked and if you didn't get it, lucky you.

2010-12-31T00:06:00.004+08:00

2010-12-22T22:08:00.004+08:00

So anyway, Christmas is fast approaching and I've yet to get into the whole festive mood, banking my hopes on getting there by friday because Christmas is the best time of the year, how cliche I am being, but true. So anyway, been spending the past days enjoying my last days of freedom best as I can. Anyway, here's an advanced happy Christmas to everyone and if you're lucky enough to be somewhere where there actually is that picturesque white christmas, and all your decorations are up and well, stuff and then yes, appreciate it because it sounds more lovely than Christmas down in the tropics so... I raise my imaginary mug of eggnog to you (I have never drank eggnog I fail) and merry advanced Christmas since I probably won't be posting on Christmas itself, or the eve for that matter.

2010-12-17T23:52:00.004+08:00

Do come down to tomorrow's flea at St James Powerhouse, 11am, to support us!
I have nothing else to say but yeah, do come down and support (repetition much, it's some sort of dripping tap method to make a point or something shall shut up now. Do I make sense, do I ever? I thought I was going to shut up. I shut up now.)

Saying stupid things

2010-12-15T22:03:00.005+08:00

So today on the way home as I was walking I realised something important: I have NO ambition. I have no AMBITION. Its not as bad as it sounds, I mean I have a mental list of things to do before I die but the problem is this: I have no specific ambition. Like if you asked a group of people what they wanted to be, it'd go like this "I want to be a doctor." "I want to tame lions." and when it comes to me I'd be like, "Ahhh.....um." See, I know I want to do something related to art, like literature, performing, visual whatever but the problem is I don't know what exactly to do because if I end up doing all three well I'll not be allowed anyway. But I suppose it's all going to be okay as long as I don't end up being a succesful CEO of a textbook company because it'll teach the new generation crap (or maybe CEOs can't control the textbook content) and because if I'm cooped up all day in an office wearing power suits, I'd die a slow, torturous death or eventually jumping out of the office window in a need for an adrenaline rush, forgetting that I can't fly, because no amount of money is worth being bored to death everyday, no offence to CEOs of textbook companies. What crap I speak. Anyway yes, I suppose it dosen't really matter -not now at this very moment anyway. Speaking of anyway, I lost a dare just now at dinner and had to eat a whole fish, well not the head and crap but yeah. It was horrible and as I peeled off some flesh, I happened to come across something that looked like a lung and moaned for three minutes (I am really squeamish about fish. And birds.) about fish's lungs before realising that fish do not have lungs. THEY HAVE GILLS. Dumb blonde moment, even though not all blondes are dumb and not all who are dumb are blond. But seriously, it did look like a pair of lungs. Stupid fish with stupid imitation lungs.

2010-12-13T22:20:00.003+08:00

2010-12-08T22:35:00.001+08:00

So this was what happened last night. Had a somewhat early turn in at 2 plus in the morning and it was five of us girls to two beds and me and Huili couldn't sleep. There was this light on at the side and for some reason it irritated me haha so Huili woke me up and we just sat there whispering whether or not to sleep outside cause it was kinda cramped and I couldn't sleep because I suck what a connection- but we decided not to so we tried to sleep. About ten minutes later we woke up again and decided to turn around in the bed and we were laughing because the rest were making some kind of sleepy sounds. And then someone mumbled to turn off the light and I was like FINALLY and I got out and turned it off so it was darkness. Five minutes later I decided I needed some music so I went off to get it and then I climbed back into bed. Five minutes later just as I was dozing finally someone turned on the bed light and I was like THE LIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHT ACTUAL HELL THE LIGHTTTTTTTT GAHUGHSDGUHRUGT . So I pulled off my music and there was this kind of frenzied discussion and the words, "where's the light where's the light turn it on" so I went off and turned out the light that I off-ed. And as I was moving back to bed Masri was suddenly standing there pointing at the countertop saying "I saw something I saw something" I was cynical at first but then Huili told me she saw something too and then Weixiang who was moving around the whole night I remember one moment seeing him sit up in the darkness said he saw something too. And then this sort of watery sound came from the toilet which was strange and thought I well it is a toilet and I went to check but the tap and everything was off but still it was a toilet so stands to reason that there'll be a watery sound right, but still rather weird. Then I went out to join the rest of the girls outside and we were kinda freaked out and I admit it was very odd so us girls waited outside and there was this bunch of people in the cabin opposite, singing a song like some kind of chant which just added to the atmosphere. So we waited and the guys went to get help or something and then they went back to the cabin and eventually most of us ended up at Macs discussing the whole thing. Masri's reaction was the freakiest, if not for that I admit that I'd still be sleeping/trying to but he was like damn serious about the whole thing and his description about the thing he saw was like, damn. Eventually we had a damn early breakfast at Macs and headed back to the chalet at about sixish, where I finally had some sleep. What a thing haha I've never experienced before in my life. Knackered now seriously tired had a nap but I'm still tired I'm a failure.

My non existant mind blown of the non existant window, I literally cannot even.

2010-12-06T20:58:00.004+08:00

Today was epic from the start. Firstly I woke up in the morning to realise somehow or rather, that I was locked in my house by accident. Literally. So for about fifteen minutes or so, my brother used his skills to pick the lock. I guess his skills were non-existant, as he failed. Then I came up with a brilliant idea and managed to get out, I was already late so I was in a hurry and congratulating myself when halfway through my journey, I realised that I forgot my ez link card. Come to think of, not being able to pick locks seems like a serious flaw in education seeing as it may be a skill to use so that you don't die in case you're trapped in a locked building or something. Anyway, I met up with Denice and on our way to meet the rest, we got lost. So we ended up at some kiddy centre and there was this escalator so we both took it up when we realised that we shouldn't be taking the escalator at all. So because we didn't know the concept of an escalator, we tried going down the escalator that was bound to go up, notice our badassery (sarcastic sarcasm is sacarstic) and we failed so just went with the flow. And then we got sidetracked at the kiddy centre when I saw this ball pit, in a moment of stupidity I leaned in to get a better view, completely forgetting the plexiglass barrier and hit it and rebounded off. Denice had such a great time laughing at my moment of misfortune. But I suppose it wasn't too bad seeing as we managed to find the rest in the end and staying over tomorrow!

2010-12-01T22:15:00.002+08:00

The awkward moment when you're 11 year old cousin is the same height as you, and your 15 year old cousin? Three heads taller.
So mainly going around the usual areas with them, with the exception of Universal studios yesterday. It was very much unexpected but being me I didn't complain right, I mean WHY would I? Haha. Anyway we came up with this theory: Your mailman delivers post right to your house, he knows where you live. He drives around all day tracking streets, landmarks whatever. He knows where you live, so he is obviously a government agent big brother spy and you should never let him see you because he is a spy so if he sees you you have been spied which just means that your life is in peril.
Anyway, my cousins are not used to taking public transport because in Malaysia its sketchy, I myself have no idea how to use a malaysian public bus. Anyway in Labuan they have like I dunno, a car to drive them anywhere? Anyway if I was in USA, I could drive next year though knowing me I'd get a faded blue car with a spoiled bumper light with a freakish air con that'd have me driving around with the windoes open. While a newer car would be probably a little more likely not to fall apart in the middle of the street, I kind of like the sound of an old car which I would name Betty. Normally, I don't identify with people who treat cars as living, but oh well. But then again, knowing me I'd probably fail my driving test since I am incredibly uncordinated, I have gifted at tripping over flat surfaces and I have the physical prowness of a pompaloon. I have no idea what that is, but it is a clumsy sounding word.

2010-11-26T21:58:00.003+08:00

How was your week? Mine was fantastic. Anyway my cousins are coming tomorrow and they'll be staying a week. I forsee awkward silence and reintroductions in the first hour or so, the last time I saw them I was like, 12 which was 493842948234908 years ago. The last time I remember we were at Sabah and they were putting a kitten in a wheelbarrow and the kitten jumped out and tried to scratch them and I laughed. Which kind of reminds me of my 12th year of life which was incidentally 3 years from the last time I saw them when we were nine. When I was nine I was really stupid. Can you believe it I was nominated to be a prefect when I was in P1 but I skipped training, so my teacher made me monitress and took away my badge two weeks later. When I was in P6 I was in a class where everyone was like, totally studying every minute and I think I must have been annoying because I constantly had the teachers hounding me, forgot to bring things forever and broke the visualiser screen. (Accidentally, but still). The only lesson I looked forward to was CHINESE, cause then I went to a different class with more fun loving people and hey I did mangae to pass. Apart from that everything was boring, well not everything but I know what I mean, and I can't recall ONE art class because everytime I was happy for art the form teacher would walk in like, "class let's have a more important lesson" and started talking about FRACTIONS or something equally boring. I remember only one art lesson in P3 where we had to divide the paper into shapes and colour it I got bored and didn't do art homework for the rest of the year, and I thought I was so clever until I got an F. I paid attention in nearly nothing and my teachers tried various methods to make me attentive, the most boring calling my name and getting me to answer questions and the best one was when he threw a soft rubber ball at me, it bounced off my table and hit the guy in front.
Ah, great memories actually not really. Time to entertain cousins for one week.

2010-11-22T23:02:00.004+08:00

Omgladidagdsoighsir9u49421381 Harry Potter is badass awesomeness insane amount of tumblr reblogs on that topic.
My PB plan is cancelled afhaufhudghisughdiladidada never mind there's always tomorrow well not tomorrow exactly screw it I know what I mean.

2010-11-20T22:31:00.005+08:00

So Harry Potter, the greatest movie I have ever seen in my life. It was as epic. I was glued to my seat in the cinema which was packed. Now note to you guys I am not much of a public cryer, or a cryer ( I bet its spelled wrongly ). But anyway yes, accuse me of having a stiff upper lip, but I don't like admitting to tears very much. Now I don't like all this sentimality but that was how awesome Harry Potter was. I was tearing from the beginning when Hermione obliviate-ed her parents. I teared again when Hedwig died. And when Dobby died, I lost it. I was just sitting there trying to staunch my tears and failing from when Bellatrix threw the knife to the end of the movie and bits after. And the lady next to me glanced over and took one look at me, and she was really emphatic she turned to her friend and said, "this is really sad" and I saw her cry a little too. I don't care if you say they are not real, this was the most touching movie I have ever watched and of all the Harry Potter movies this was the most real one, as in it was gritty it was out-there, it was epic. Damn it, it was epic. Now never mentioned the fact that I cried to me but even if you do, so what? I love Harry Potter.

2010-11-19T13:23:00.002+08:00

Hello am off to watch this soon! I'm as excited as an astronaut whizzing off through space riding a shetland pony and eating pasta in a can. How that is even possible, I have no idea, which basically explains how awesome Harry Potter is.

2010-11-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

2010-11-15T23:35:00.010+08:00

I shall describe the day in time to come in the form of pictures when the Poon sees fit to post them.
Anyway so yesterday, casting aside all historical topics, I saw this, which is basically the image on top, which made my imagination spiral and explode into a million shards and become nebulas. So one thing led to another and while I was staring at patterns in the ceiling lying on my bed I thought of a cape. The cape which has led to much frustration to all I have talked to about it today ("You're crazy" "Are you serious?" "Huh, a Cake?" "A cape. Right.") . Basically it will the be the kind of cape that Superman would wear if he was shooting through the cosmos, disguising the fact that he was wearing a cape, but shorter. It would be amazing though being the klutz that I am I would probably get my cape sucked into a fan and die.

2010-11-14T22:06:00.001+08:00

So I just realised today that the holidays are here! (Yes no more prep programme which is kinda pointless and which just begged us to skive off before recess), that is awesomely awesome! So begins two months of having fun and tossing those schoolbooks away (save it for that weekly maths upgrade) before next year's O levels begins, but lets not think of such things. Think instead of the holidays which will be awesome, what with the fact that they're holidays alone, the upcoming Christmas festivities, waking up not early everyday and sundays without the monday blues and so much more, like all your holiday plans! And the weather may be a downer, but hey you'll surely have those two or three days for whatever outdoor plans you may have and you can just imagine that the other days of the week, what with the the cold is just like improvised snow cause you know its December? Okay whatever, holidays are just awesome, though I sound way too enthusiastic for my own good.

2010-11-13T22:49:00.003+08:00

So today I went for maths tuition (lovely way to spend Saturday, and gah missed The Poon's flea, but that's the price of upgrading) wasn't as bad as I expected, I managed to complete my worksheet! Albeit twenty minutes later than the others and presumably with more mistakes but I tried though it seemed like I was the one who said "I don't understand" the most number of times. Anyway yes, everyone else was so hardcore studying so I felt ashamed of my slackstar ways and I endeavoured to finish the worksheet and supressed the urge to doodle (still did in the end though), and I triumphed. Ahhhhh so tired and cold now. And guess what? I found the awesomest hole in the wall joint just now! Awesomeness, shall definitely pay it a visit again.

2010-11-03T20:08:00.001+08:00

I am going to be upgrading myself, maths tuition starting soon. Prep program so far has been... I don't know, the same as normal school I suppose, but a more slack-ish. Oh well, maths tuition will be my only hope. Its time for me to start passing.

2010-10-29T13:26:00.006+08:00

Not bad, upgrade

2010-10-25T21:51:00.003+08:00

Guess who's back from bintan? Me! I tell you I nearly died out there: I survived climbing (haha not really) a coconut tree, climbing up another really tall one and jumping off it, climbing up a hill without a trail, using nature and rope- high points I suppose! And not to mention the flying fox which was really high, which was undoubtly awesome, a walk across the seabed at low tide, complete with tons of creatures, the bonfire and the screaming/cheering/shouting. Oh and the card game that lasted from past midnight to four am, I was so sleepy that I nearly fell off my chair. When the pictures come, I'll let them do the talking but it was a really unique, tiring experience that I really didn't expect ( I pictured some touristy resort ), but overall it was worth it I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE ON SURVIVOR NOW. It was weird going home without a challenge of trekking/getting wet, instead seeing lots of people and air conditioned transport. And there was Coconut but oh well huh, not bad upgrade! Pictures soon! Not sleeping and worrying about freezing tonight, that'll feel good.

This is long

2010-10-19T18:45:00.006+08:00

So today at the Malaysian ICA or whatever you call it, I waited in line for quite a bit of time, nah a very long time. And when it was time to get my document, the lady behind the counter took one look at me and asked, "melayu?" And when I went over to the Singapore one the guy behind the counter implied that I was filipino or something. Oh no, are kadazans that obscure? Okay maybe so, so those two are excused cause anyway their possibilities were reasonable (yeah, like they needed my excusing but oh well) but I remember one lady asking me if I was from China. (yes random people sometimes ask me for my race) I was really lost for words.
Really, do I look as if I'm from China?
For that matter, do I look Chinese, I see no chinese features in me, lady are you blinder than me? (I am as blind as a bat, okay maybe not) but still. Or maybe she thought I was mixed with kadazan blood which came from China. In fact, the whole truckload of possibilities confuses me. No, I was not insulted? But really, take one look at me and who sees China? Its like me looking at Huili and asking her, "Are you native american?"
I don't know but it dosen't really make sense, or maybe I don't make sense which makes more sense. Oh me and my many racial possibilities.
But the most embarassing one is when people talk to me in average-high level malay and I admit that I don't know it which makes me look really pathetic, especially when I'm at Malaysia.
Anyway hitting Bintan on Friday (yay!) where people will mistake me for indonesian maybe? Yes it helps that I don't look like a Kadazan. Maybe I should dye myself green and wear a mask so no one asks me what I am. "Excuse me, but what are you?" Okay maybe if I dye myself green they will ask me what I am. You know what, I'll shut up now.

2010-10-17T20:50:00.002+08:00

So today two things happened to me:
1. I've relearned something that I've actually known for quite a while. That E should really keep his mouth SHUT. E, I hope you know.
2. Today when I reached home I saw a cat in the kitchen. A CAT. I swear if it was bigger it would have eaten me, but as it is it just stared malevolently at me, but I was brave. I stamped my foot and it run away. Nah, I know it really wasn't that brave to scare away a cat, but cats are not as innocent as they appear to me. One ate my hamster once. And don't get me started on birds. Once I saw a bird fly from the lamp, it was huge. But no one believed the size I stated, but its true. I saw it with my own eyes.

Obligation

2010-10-16T22:52:00.004+08:00

You know what, I had one whole post which I've written to get the nostalgia, injustice of life as we know it, longing and overall mood and happenings of the day (you missed out, it would've been deep. Nah, kidding. Or maybe not) . But you know what, forget it. Words fail to honestly translate sometimes, or at least I've a lack of skill in doing that right now. Sometimes its just better to understand it by yourself because sometimes people just don't get it, they infer wrongly but its okay. The world still revolves around the sun, still rotates around an axis, people still come and go on the streets and day still turns into night, but whether it means its a hundred percent right is obviously not a given.
In my sudden philosophical mood, I still must say that little part of me that's one hundred happy- at least that part is little now, we should all have such moments when our shoulders are weighed down with inner and outer burdens I suppose- is excited by the thoughts of the post exam activites that are lined up.

2010-10-14T21:50:00.003+08:00

After everyone could leave after chem, I had to stay for lit. After everyone could leave after lit, I had to stay for marketing (I blame myself) its okay, a month or two and I can pass on the burden. Oh no I'm so lifeless.
Its okay, next week shall be good. There's still the PB plan, the 25 plan and Bintan with the Strange. PS I'm making my new passport tomorrow, I can bid adieu to the old tattered copy that's been with me since I was 10. Maybe I'll name my new one Poonie. Nah.

You are extremely spastic

2010-10-13T19:17:00.002+08:00

So after tuesday's maths paper, I gave up studying for Paper I and instead just focused on chemistry 'cause I know math's already a goner this time around. So yeah, had art (3 hours and it was freezing plus when the paper was over I turned around and Huili was making her extreme face at me) and maths today. Off to continue filling up my brain with chemistry, pressed for time so'll probably spam lit in the MRT and bus tommorow.

2010-10-10T13:15:00.003+08:00

Wish me luck. I have four and a half hours worth of math papers next week and my brain still refuses to grasp mathematical concepts.

2010-10-09T19:54:00.005+08:00

2010-10-08T23:24:00.002+08:00

When I study history, it isn't so bad, cause at least I can sort of get in the mood of the whole thing, its okay if you don't get what I mean, cause I can't find the adequate words either. Science is still bearable, just wanting to get it over and done with, absorbing everything that I'll forget in a few years as quickly as I can. When I study maths, I stop every few problems, literally, problems to draw on the book or scold it. It causes my stress.

2010-10-06T15:23:00.000+08:00

"The more I read the book, the more I think you're schizophrenic." said Celia who claims I have no left brain, obviously that's not true.
Anyway had SS today, had just enough time and now I'm left with a reddish lump on my middle finger. Had it since monday- hope I do okay for English seeing as I'm obviously gonna flunk mother tongue. Then again, my report seems in hindsight, hopelessly unrealistic so perhaps I could be marked down for then. I seem to be the only one who included a grass cutting machine from which two boys jumped off (one of them being named Dennis Poon, hint to Denice) and a soccer captain named Logan Fernando who got a long gash on his arm. Then again weird things happen everyday just sit with Huili or Atiqa for five minutes and you'll know.
Lunch after the paper today with Huili at Celia, involving food obviously, spongebob, coloured pens and nail varnish. Home so damn early today it seems, probably going to study maths and chem later. Plus there's a maths test tomorrow. I hate maths tests.